Headache Troubles

I got a headache need I say more. But Im good and still breathing. Ahhhh emotions are going crazy so Im going to try to sum this up the best way I can. I can't promise I will say any more than Im thinking but I will surely try.

Recovering from Thurman's and I altercation from last week, it's not getting any better. I thought we was but I was wrong, and it makes me feel like I'm always wrong. Someone asked me to prom and I was kind of hype( you would be to if someone asked you.) I was thinking about it but I can't do it. I don't even have money to pay for my damn phone bill, why would i think about going to prom with people i don't know or chill with on a daily basis. Last week I was in emotional distress and I'm thinking I am at this state of mind again. Nothing seem to be right, nobody seem to care and all the people don't really matter. Tyree seem to be the only one who actually has a eye for gold when he see me. Everyone seem to just be there and just see past me. I never picture my life to be this way but it is and I'm trying to figure out how can I make it better. Who do I need to erase to make my life easy????I think I know who I need to erase but I don't want to nor Im not ready. I wanna erase that last line but if I don't I would be lying to myself and yall. I'm not a lier nor do I hide the truth when it's right in front of me. What the fuck happened to me son? It's the first time I actually drink because of my life but for this, I need too. I feel trapped. I passed my classes so there's good in that, right?

MY HONEST TRUTH

----->When you love someone, you don't care about the outcome or the situation. You just know that you love someone and for some reason,you can't let go. It's like a bad addiction and you can't shake it because it's too powerful, to strong, to intense that when you try to let go something reminds you to stay and try for alittle while longer. And this thing you get trapped in is deadly and will cause you to lose sleep,to forget things and at some point forget your family you love. You cant blame it on the person, you gotta blame it on that damn love. Yeah I said it, that fucking love. And Yes I was badly cursed by it and no there is no cure for I, neither less to say I don't want one. I just wanna smile again, I wanna laugh again. I want to sigh and not have to worry about what he's doing because I miss him...It's even worse when i just finished leaving him and I miss the face he made or the way he said my name. At some point, I want to run with his love and don't turn back. In some cases I know if I was to ever stop going out with him, he won't get effected. Only me and that is the worst feeling ever. Heartache...............

at the end of the day, it is I who stand alone wishing for only happiness